Logo Jerry Ham

There are times in this struggle when - perhaps like some of you - I throw my hands up and say, "How much longer will this thing last?" And yet I know that my wife and I don't have it nearly as bad as many of you out there do. I have been blessed to have my wife standing squarely beside me, helping with the caregiving of my mother. I have also enjoyed the full support of my sister who has POA over mom's affairs. We are in full agreement that mom's money is to take care of her in the time she has left. If it takes all of mom's money to provide for her care, and to keep her comfortable, then so be it. If there should be money left over after mom's passing, then it will be split evenly between the five children. That is the way that mom and dad wanted it to be, and that is the way it will be. But still, there are times when I just have to step back and admit to myself, that no matter what we do for mom, her life is still in God's hands. Thus we will continue to do the best we can for her, and leave the rest up to Him. It is becoming painfully obvious to us now that mom's walking days are very close to becoming history. We get her up to walk and after a few steps - even with us holding onto her - she'll stop. I'm sure it is because she is forgetting how to walk. We encourage her to take a step forward and she responds with, "I can't, I'll fall." Only with much coaxing can we get her to continue walking. I have been reluctant to bring the w/c into the house as I feel strongly that once we start using it to take her from room to room, she'll not walk again. Up to now we have kept the w/c in the trunk of the car to use when we take her with us. And I've noticed lately that the longer she is in the w/c, the harder it is for her to take even one step when we take her out of it. Taking care of her can be very frustrating at times, but as the husband in the movie, "A VOW TO CHERISH" - which was shown last night - said about it being a priviledge to take care of his wife, it is also a priviledge for me to take care of my mother.

She's in God's Hands

Though we will do all that we can,
We must admit she's in God's hands.
This terrible disease has claimed her mind,
We never know what tomorrow we'll find.
This dear sweet lady who gave me life,
Is my mother, my friend, and Dad's loving wife.
Her care has come to rest on us,
And yes at times she's made quite a fuss.
Though we will do all that we can,
We must admit she's in God's hands.
Against this illness she fought her best.
At times I wonder, will I pass the test?
We clothe and feed, and help her walk.
It's hard to listen to her aimless talk.
We call her name, sometimes she hears,
We try to comfort when she's in tears.
Though we will do all that we can,
We must admit she's in God's hands.

© 1999 by Jerry Ham

e-mail: Jerry.Ham@werner-saumweber.de

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