Logo Jerry Ham

Yesterday after getting mom up and dressed, I stood her up to walk her into the dining room for breakfast. As I was helping her stand, she gave a faint, sad smile and with tears in her eyes said, "I'm ready to go home now." But she was looking off in the distance as if I were not even there. It kind of gave me a chill as there was a look on her face that I had not seen before, one that is really hard to descibe. She has often said that she wants to go home, and of course in her dementia, it would be difficult to tell which home she would be referring to, or if she even knew what home she was talking about. But this was in a little bit different tone, and as if she were talking to someone who was a very dear friend. I couldn't help but wonder if she indeed saw someone that I couldn't see. Anyway, this morning I wrote this. Maybe some of you have experienced this same thing.

Ready to go home

I'm ready to go home now. Are the words that I hear.
She forms a faint smile, her eyes filled with tears.
I help her stand, holding onto her hands.
The look in her face, I can't quite understand.
I'm ready to go home now. She says once again.
She seems to be talking to a very dear friend.
I find myself asking, Could this be the day?
That God will come and call her away?
Lord, I know she has loved You for years.
Yet at this moment, my heart fills with fear.
Lord, I'm not ready, I know in my mind.
Yet if You take her, I know she'll be fine.
Lord, one more time, if it's all just the same.
Let her look at my face, and call me by name.
As we walk together, my mother and I,
I resist the urge just to break down and cry.
Take courage my child, look up and take heart.
A soft calm voice makes my fears fall apart.
The time will come when she'll enter My rest.
It's all in my hands, you just do your best.
There's a calm in my heart that soothes like a balm.
Without a doubt I know, she's ready to go home.

© 1999, Jerry Ham

e-mail: Jerry.Ham@werner-saumweber.de

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