I want to be free
My spirit is asking, Look at me please.
I wish I were free from this wretched disease.
I can not tell you what I want you to hear,
It is all I can do just to shed bitter tears.
The care that you give me, my child, it is kind.
But I see the wreck of this body that's mine,
What life do I have when I'm trapped in this shell?
If I could but talk, the stories I'd tell.
I remember the years that I lived as a child,
My parents worried that I was too wild.
Then came the years I spent as a teen.
The hours spent looking in the mirror as I preened.
There was no doubt, I knew I was smart.
I knew it all, so I thought in my heart.
Then came adulthood, oh my, what a change.
My life and my thoughts now seemed so strange.
Then came the day when we both said, I do.
Another year later, my child, we had you.
Our life was full of excitement and fun.
I remember how you loved to lie in the sun.
Then you were married, I remember the day.
We love you so much, was all we could say.
Oh we were proud of you and your spouse,
We shared your joy as you bought your first house.
Then came the illness, so subtle it seemed,
At first we hoped it was just a bad dream.
As things grew worse, we knew it was real.
A fatal illness, it was such a raw deal.
And now, here we are, we've come to the end.
What can I say to my child and my friend?
I love you dearly, I want you to know.
Throughout this illness, I've watched you grow.
I'll soon say good-bye, but don't weep for me.
Because more than anything, I want to be free.
©1998, Jerry Ham