Logo Jerry Ham

Listmates,
This past Saturday was a really down day for me emotionally. I found myself struggling with depression. As most of you know, I had low back surgery this past February for repair of a ruptured disk. I still have two disks that are bulging and could blow at any time. When I saw the surgeon for my follow up, he told me that from here on out, I should not even think about lifting my mother nor should I lift anything more than 30 pounds. Having been a licensed practical nurse, that could severely limit my nursing career once mom passes on. Also I have severe degenerative arthritis in my right hip for which I'll be having a total hip replacement once mom does pass on. As a result I have been in nearly constant pain before and even after the surgery. This past Saturday, it just started weighing on me. I was so tired of the constant pain. I was so tired of hearing mom scream out in fear when I would reposition her in bed. I won't go into trying to get her out of bed on those rare occasions when we do so. I found myself being directed back to this poem that I wrote two years ago. I know that there have been many others here who have also really struggled in their care of a loved one. Anyway, this is my prayer for you and for me. BTW, I am in a better frame of mind today. :o)
Jerry


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A Caress of the Heart

A caress of the heart Lord, I need every day.
To know that I'm loved each step of the way.
Sometimes my troubles weigh hard on my mind,
And the strength to hold on seems so hard to find.
A caress of the heart Lord, is now what I ask,
To help ease the stress of the unending tasks.
My spirit is troubled, so please hear my call.
And give me the grace to keep giving my all.
A caress of the heart Lord, to help calm my fears.
Let me not be afraid of the days, months or years.
Lord, there are many I know just like me.
Their trials and troubles make it so hard to see.
So now Lord I pray, let them have a part,
Of the love that you give, a caress of the heart.

© 1998, Jerry Ham
e-mail Jerry.Ham@werner-saumweber.de

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